It has been a very, very long time since I have written on my blog. I’d started to feel like I didn’t really know which direction I wanted to go in – my blog was a real mish-mash of posts and I didn’t like the way I was writing. But as January draws to a close, an anniversary is drawing near and there is something I want to write.
On 2nd February last year, a beautiful 9 month old baby girl, Matilda Mae, lost her life to SIDS. I came across her mother’s post on her blog (Edspire) via something my Facebook page and was really moved by her news. Since then, I have followed her story, her struggle, her fundraising, her life with her adorable 3 year old twins. Jennie is an incredibly brave, inspirational, strong mother. I am linking up to ‘Letters to Matilda Mae’ on Ghostwritermummy’s blog.
Dear Matilda Mae,
Precious baby. How you have touched my heart.
I remember well the shock I felt when I read of your passing nearly a year ago. How could it be? How could a healthy, happy baby go to sleep and never wake up? How can it be that a mummy and daddy, brother and sister, grandparents and other family have to live without you? You don’t know me Matilda and I haven’t met your mummy but I wish I could take away her pain, I wish I could tell her it will be alright but I know things will never be the same for her again. She may get up each morning, she may smile, she may laugh, but I know she lives with a searing pain in her heart. She misses you so much Matilda.
I can honestly say, Matilda, that I have thought of you every single day since the day I first read about you. Quite often I have been moved to tears. I’ve wished I had some magical powers that could bring you back to your family – wished I could do more than send a tweet or a message. But know this, little girl – your name, your spirit, your memory lives on through so many people. You certainly have a place in my heart and will for ever more. For the 9 months that you were with your family, I didn’t know that a beautiful baby girl called Matilda Mae existed in a village somewhere in Kent – I hadn’t said the words ‘Matilda Mae’ to anyone – but now many people I know, know your name too. They know how much your little life mattered, how much it still matters and how much your mummy is doing in your memory.
How I wish 2nd February was ‘just another day’ for your family. I wish you were walking around, chattering away to Esther and William. But I know that you are guiding your family, watching over them. I hope you are enjoying your garden, seeing the pink and purple blooms. I hope you like all the stars. I hope you are happy in heaven.
Bless you sweetheart,